The Next Level

What does it mean to go to the next level? When we really ask ourselves that what question, what does it mean? For me, it means being honest with myself and acknowledging my weaknesses. So here it is: I am full of fear. Sigh. I am afraid of success and failure-all wrapped into one.
I've always had such grand ideas and projects, but always came up short on perfected success. It seems as though I always found a way to subconsciously thwart my own efforts to complete everything I set out to do. Albeit, I would get some things accomplished, but I would still feel as though I'd been shortchanged, even if no one noticed. Sometimes, the pressure of working towards my goals would be unleashed and subsequently, created havoc in my personal life such that I melted into flurries of frustration from my own incompetence. Such mismanagement has left me an ambitious single woman still trying to move through the ranks in my career with lone thoughts of romance and family enchanting my mind. So what do I want? I want a great career that combines my interest in science and music, a family of my own and most importantly a strong immutable understanding of Christianity. My mom seems to think that I'm too hard on myself, but I don't think I work hard enough.
Today, however, I am focused on taking my life to the next level. I am going to force all of me to reach for my goals without sacrificing my sanity and personal life. The first thing I did was create of a list of goals for 2007-2008 and a loose outline for reaching each goal. Then, I created this blog in order to express my thoughts, frustration and emotions.
Whenever I try to do things on my own, I always come up short. I hope the Lord is listening to my prayers because I want to succeed in this effort. I hope my vision is what He wants for me.